“…..I wonder if McDonalds is hiring?…..or maybe I can sit behind a desk and sharpen pencils for a living…..is that even a real thing?…..Professional Pencil Sharpener?…..yup…..that’s what I wanna do…..I think I want to just sharpen pencils moving forward…..everyday.”
*inhales*
So, these were my initial thoughts right as I was leaving work this evening…feet hurting, head pounding, eyes barely open, dragging to my car, urging my legs to go just a few more steps to the door…..”I wanna sharpen pencils, Lord…because this is CRAZY! This LEVEL of exhaustion right now?…just…no.”
And the Holy Spirit and I ended up in this rather funny yet sobering conversation that went like this:
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Me: “…just…no. Just let me sharpen pencils, Lord. I can do that.”
Him: “Do you really want that, Stejha?
Me: “Well…no. I just…”
Him: “Who would do this like you if not YOU?”
Me: “…well, yea. You have a point, but…”
Him: “And is this not what you asked for? To KNOW and operate in your purpose?”
Me: “Well…yes. But I didn’t expect it to be THIS demanding…and hard.”
Him: “…well, who told you purpose would be easy?”
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And, that’s where He ousted me!
Who told you purpose would be easy?
Who told you that you wouldn’t have crazy days as you draw closer to your life design?
Who told you that you could play monopoly with your purpose, skipping work and fatigue and going straight to glory?
Who told you that this would be a simple walk; that you’d stand on a mountaintop without ever toughing out the climb?
Who omitted the principle of sacrifice from the discovery of purpose?
What breakthrough is worthy without a few walls and barriers to be broken down?
No, you are not exhausted for exhaustion’s sake!
You are being daily cultivated in your spiritual design and chiseled out to fulfill your purpose on this planet!
Think about it…
Another plan, another design, another way SEEMS less tasking…
Oh, but THIS plan, THIS design, THIS way burns a fire in you that you can’t even describe at times!
You could be on your LAST breath…crusty-lipped, dried out, and shriveled up…
But if someone asked you to do THIS thing that you KNOW you were CREATED to do…
All of a sudden, you’ve got a red bull ENERGY that you had no idea was inside you!
Next thing you know, nothing else matters more than providing THIS need with your God-given purpose!
Because be honest…
What is more exciting than being EXACTLY where you’re supposed to be, at the EXACT time you’re supposed to be there, doing the EXACT thing that you were CREATED to do, knowing that there is NOONE ELSE on earth created to do what YOU were created to do?
It’s called PURPOSE!
Purpose makes you go that EXTRA mile!
Purpose makes you push beyond your comfort level!
Purpose makes you sweat, and work, and burn!
Purpose makes you rise early and go down late!
Purpose makes you the first one in and the last one out!
Purpose makes your LAST nerve hold on just a little while longer!
Purpose makes you prioritize needs over wants!
Purpose makes you love and appreciate every unlovable moment!
Purpose makes you plan, and foresee and prepare!
Purpose is the ONLY thing that keeps a fighter in a fight…
Sooooooooo….
I’m tired. Yes. I would like to collapse and sleep face down for the next 5 days. Yup! I don’t want to hear another music note until Monday morning. Tis true!
But could I really trade my passion, my earthly electricity, my in His image divine wiring, my ‘only me’ mojo…to sharpen pencils for the rest of my life?
Could you?
I mean, sharpening pencils isn’t bad…
It’s just not the reason for MY creation.
So…being gently reminded of all that (thank you Holy Spirit)…I guess it’s simple…
*exhales*
Tonight, I rest.
Tomorrow…I purpose.
Closer To Me 
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