Closer To Me

Thank You.

Thank You for not always giving me what I wanted when I wanted it.

Thank You for saying no to those prayers, even though I was very mad at the time that You did.

Thank you for not giving in to my relentless tears and ignorant whining…

Man…I must’ve really looked crazy, God.

But thank You.

Thank You for watching me roll around on the floor, pound the ground, and cry what seemed to be an endless river of frustration…

I needed to get that out.

And You knew it.

Thank You for not growing tiresome of my inevitable unawareness of Your wisdom at work.

Thank You for not leaving me as I swung my fists at the air, stuck my tongue out at You, and declared, “You’re not my friend anymore!”

Thank You for never letting up, despite my occasional giving up…AND running away…AND choosing the road to Emmaus…just defeated and KNOWING I was going the wrong way.

*sigh*

Thank You even for today…for STILL being present…for STILL bearing my Tasmanian tantrums…and STILL loving me as Your child…Your sporadically demonstrative child who still happens to have many “moments” here, there, and everywhere.

God, I love You.

You are constantly teaching me patient, unconditional, enduring all things, never-failing love…even now as I write.

I pray I experience that love one day…that storge love…that parent to child, familial love…

That smile while your kid goes berserk love because she doesn’t yet understand that Your love is KEEPING her…

That be strong and unmoving while your kid flips out love because he doesn’t yet understand that there is purpose and promise and perspective in that “no”…

In that “wait a little while longer”…

In that “not yet”…

But thank You that that day is not today.

Thank you for saving me from a life of premature blessings.

Thank you for not always giving me what I wanted when I wanted it.

Thank You for knowing me…

For knowing my days, one from the other…

For allowing me to see/appreciate my days, one from the other…

And encouraging me to LIVE my days…one from the other.

Thank You for each day.

And thank You for truly being the BEST Father (cuz we both know I’m a complete handful)!

Lola